Whilst indulging in some procrastination, I decided to draw on The Norns for a bit of guidance. I drew the rune Thurisaz. Thurisaz is not a rune to be taken lightly.
The power of Thurisaz is one that works best when there is an emotional need but it is chaotic and is just as likely to rebound out of control, bouncing off all the walls and no one sure where it will land or who it will hit.
It is related to Thor so it has all the qualities of strength and protection but it is also a rune of traditional women’s “problems”. This is apt as I am currently enduring a moon cycle with my usual bad grace… but, moving on.
As I am not suffering from any deeper womens problems, or, in need of Thor’s more manly characteristics; I feel Thurisaz is talking of my subconscious. In this aspect, Thurisaz can relate to your shadow, specifically, a shadow in your subconscious. We are aware of the benefit of assimilating your shadow aspects into your whole and I hoped I had already bought my shadows home.
I am guessing not though. What Thurisaz is telling me, is that I have a blockage in my creative subconscious. I know this. I know what I want to be creating and doing and living, but I am not there. I am teetering on the edge but I don’t know how to proceed. I feel lost and that I am floundering around without an anchor and when I think about it I want to cry with frustration. Part of this frustration is that I strongly suspect that I am sabotaging myself. I am scared. I really am.
I am unhappy and my comfort zone is wrong. I know I am in the wrong place, I have to leave where I am and set up shop in a new place. My points of reference are not doing me any favours and I need new ones.
I can move jobs at the drop of a hat. I can move house, no problem. I can travel to new countries and feel perfectly fine but putting myself out into the world to do what I want to do, to promote myself and sell myself and I panic and struggle.
I am surprised at how much of that I have been able to express here, as the saying goes, you have to see it to heal it. Hopefully now I have acknowledged my problem and opened my failings up, I may gain some insight into how I can take the final stages to my new life.